Fear
-by Sarah Leung

I admit that I*m afraid of making commitments. Not because I*m a player but the fact that I couldn*t make my man stay. I know, they will eventually leave me, and true enough they did.

After so many years, seeing them still takes my breath away. In fact I was hoping for a slimmest chance of making things right. But their new girlfriend standing beside them made it impossible. Although they did not behave intimately, I still felt uneasy. All I could do is to smile generously at the couple. Whenever I met such situations, I will think of bringing a guy friend with me but no one dare to take the risk. All the time, I kept my distance and was working hard to keep my cool. We exchanged a few words, nothing about our past was spoken.

At the end, it always made me realize one thing: that we could never get back together.

To me, people’s impression of me is very important. I would mind if people around me think negatively of me. So I bottom up all my feelings. It’s only when I’m with close friends that I’ll open up to them.

Frankly speaking, until now I still miss him. He has moved on but when will I?