"Live in the moment"
-by Sarah Leung

I was reading a journal from a columnist in Straits Times, when I spotted this paragraph "I can still see the tree outside and the cloudless sky, and I can still remember that weird mix of gratitude I felt for what I had, and fear of how it wasn't going to last, and how I'd better grasp that moment forever." -Sumiko Tan.

She is my all time favorite journalist. I hardly not get excited over her column when a new journal appears. Her writing is jargon-free based on true life accounts. I could swing & sway with her words. She writes about her life as a single woman & nevertheless input her feelings into everything she writes. And I have to say that she looks real good given she is in her late 30s.

Making reference back to the quote extracted, yes, I feel it too. My paranoid behavior does get out of hand. The contradicting ideas of "I'm happy, I'm happy not" create fluctuating mood waves that sweep & destroy wonderful moments ever-had. Leaving only the deserted rural landscape- a lonely heart. The previous joy build upon years of trust & love have all squashed in a split second.

My Significant Other deals a tough time whenever a sense of sorrow fills my heart as I turn a deaf ear to his coaxing, refuse to talk and not meeting his eyes. The destruction of sorrow turns to fear is even more devastating. Where I would hide in my familiar background, thinking of nothing but to run away. He said that was the greatest punishment of all. Once, I drove him to desperation that he nearly wanted to give up on me. It's never easy when two become one.

For now, let me absorb the essence of every second and hold on to the feeling till the end of time.