Special request by Desmond! - to update my blog
-by Sarah Leung

How I wish someone could say this to my ears… “I have to tell you, recovering from a lost relationship is difficult but not impossible. There will be times when you’ll be completely exhausted, when you’ll want to scream with frustration, cry with the loneliness but those moments always pass, and you’re strong, you’ll be absolutely fine. At the end of the day, you are worth it. You absolutely deserve to feel loved, and safe, and secure, and I think it’s far better to be one happy person who feels that way than two who are always arguing, who clearly should never have come together.” That will makes me feel so much better.

<18.05.05>

Ah Bee has left to be with God. I want her to know that we love her and she will always stay in our hearts. We love you!

<20.8.05>

It’s funny. How some things you loved so much in the past could turn out to be the ugliest thing you have ever had. And you can’t help but wonder “What the hell was I thinking?” How could I possibly have chosen this man to be my partner! Love is blind and I must be the blindest bat of all.

After so long, I finally found courage to face my failure. I want to know if I have got over the worst nightmare. Looking at his pictures, I know I have awaken from it. Not just that, I also realized he was my worst choice ever. Keeping my fingers crossed, I made a promise “No more dreaming!”

Not that he suddenly had his face disfigured or whatsoever (I’m sure it’s the same face) but the affection I had for him ALL STEP UP TO THE EXIT the minute I looked at his pictures. I must have drugged myself real dead to try this guy. I said to myself, all this must have started with ** who shattered my confidence then and flickered my interest in him.

But there was only one thing I need from him.

It was my craziest idea that I let him come into my world. All this is to prove one thing that I’m still attractive. I needed him for he could make me feel “oh-too-bad ** missed his chance.” Ironic it is, this alone is enough to make me nauseous all over again.

Out of disgust, I got rid of all his things. I don’t want any more people to know I had a past with him and those who know to forget about it soon. Today is a fresh start. No more insanity I said. I wish!