Sunday, October 30, 2005

How would you know it’s time to give up?
-by Sarah Leung

For the past days, I’ve asked myself over and over again, am I doing the right thing? Is this the right job for me? Till now, I’ve not found the answer.

To remain myself what made me give up in the past, I recalled the time I decided to let go of my love, the time I realized that I can never pass my calculus and that’s when I understood I’ve not faced much obstacles in life after all. Giving up is a rare event in my life.

Even after the break-up, I did not give him up. I thought I could save this relationship, I believed I could change his mind. And so I waited for weeks, finally I decided that was the end of the worthless wait. It was when my sorrow was suppressed by hatred. My hatred was like a catalyst that made me quickly accept we can never be together. That was how I gave him up and my heart never return to him since then.

For two years, I tried to improve my grade by paying more attentions during calculus class. But it didn’t work. Instead, it made me reject the subject more. The moment the lecturer explains a sum, an automatic respond will generate from my brain -my mind goes blank. That was how I gave up the subject after two tries and my heart swear never to take up calculus again.

My job is getting me down. It makes me feel bad about myself. I can’t help but ask myself why I picked this job in the first place? Why is there such a great difference from the time I was jumping in joy when I got the job and now that I got so deflated because of it? Just like what my boss asked me, “Is this job what you want to do?” I know I shouldn’t but yet I’m still waiting for a respond.

Answer: I never want to given up without trying so I put in my best effort in overcoming my fear. I’m glad to say, I’ve pass the test and is now ready for more challenges ahead.

P.S.: My warmest gratitude to all that have helped me along the way. Thank you for your advices and helping me see the world as a more profound place. It is your words that guide me through my most difficult times. Thank you!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

"Is it always better to remain as frens?"
-by Sarah Leung

They say frens r 4ever... but lovers w part once feelings r gone. The more I feel this is e right one for me, the more I mess things up. Jus wat's wrong w me? I dun know him, yet how can I like him?

Wat if we ever meet? These thoughts have stay w me for more than a yr now which I want them to stop. I am crazy. So what if we meet? Nothing I can change. Come'on! Who do I want to fool? I'm just so stubborn, nv learn to let go. It's my fault tt I made all this happened. Then, I jus have to accept. I know all this is coming. I would not have been so tore away if I have done the right thing then.

If it's meant to be, it will be. Maybe, just frens.